Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
