when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
