so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
Randomize
