Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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