we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Randomize
