Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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