Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
