Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I'd cum for enchiladas.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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