He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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