yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
