Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Randomize
