i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Randomize
