are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
