This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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