Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
