everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
