2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Randomize
