Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
