dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Randomize
