At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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