i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
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