Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
