i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it glows. i had to have it.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
