Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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