yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
be right there i have to get my cape
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
