Me too!
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
