Small penises have feelings too.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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