Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
