I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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