Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ketchup is God's man juice
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
