Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Your cock deserves a montage
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
