nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
