She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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