Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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