haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
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