I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
