Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
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