smell my finger.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
