weddingsv make me drug and hornr
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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