He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
