i already hear my dad disowning me
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
