Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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