Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
