I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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