just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
