I am puke
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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