About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
