im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
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