so let's talk penis.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
