Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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