i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
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